remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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