Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My vagina just recognized that song.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
