Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
