screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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