Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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