He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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