She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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