there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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