she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
no, he came in my armpit
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
