I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
