sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
