I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The beer is more important than you right now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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