She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
