It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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