You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
