My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
