I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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