That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
