Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
