Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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