we have officially lost it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
