There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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