Plan B is the new Plan A
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
