Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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