i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She told me I should be a condom model.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
