I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
