i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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