It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
