Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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