At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
