No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize