I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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