It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
