I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
