my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize