it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
