Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
