Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Barsexuality is the new black.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
