True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize