i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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