I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize