I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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