On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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