CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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