I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
