The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
