How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
