I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
my being single is dangerous.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
