i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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