my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
