Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
