Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize