I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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