this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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