he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
