what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
