its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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