Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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