If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize