i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
